Don t go make
by samanddiane4ever
Summary: Action in season number 10, in the episode "Go make", goes deep into Sam's thoughts about having a child with Rebecca. Enjoys and tell me your opinion.


Sam felt a sudden shortness of breath . In the midst of the luxurious hotel room, about to share intimacy with a woman who was not sure what inspired in him.  
He rose suddenly out of bed and hit the streets . He needed some air. The cool air of the night was taken by surprise, although it served as relief for his angst.

Then,he realized that he had not taken his coat. He thought back for it, but dismissed the idea thinking that, perhaps, on his return, Rebecca had already left the bathroom, and he would have to give an explanation of what he was feeling, and he was not yet ready. So, he decided to start walking the streets around the hotel,aimlessly . So he felt now.  
Although, on reflection, he had already lost the course long time ago. Once upon a time, once in his life, which was very clear what he wanted: He wanted to marry Diane vehemently, but when his fingers touched the realization of his dream , he felt into the fear of failure,the fear of being incapable of to make happy to Diane . But, in the time since then, often had regretted not having risky.

Nowadays, however, he thought that he might to be a good husband for her. And five years later of this episode, he was wandering, in the cold streets of the city.

What the hell he was doing there, with Rebecca, trying to conceive a child without any illusion, without to feel that fire that rose from his gut, up to the chest, making his heart beat with a force that was scary, but ,also, gave sense to his life , when he was with Diane ?.

Diane , always in his mind, making him impossible,to live a different life that it he had dreamed to live with her. That fire had been so strong, that he knew that it remain latent in his heart during all his life, always waiting that she will revive it.

He kept walking, seeing flashing lights of the streets, but he was so engrossed in his thoughts that did not seem to excite those blazes his retina . The words he had heard from his neighbor in the hotel room, rang in his ears: Without love you cannot raise a family.

Sam had dreamed of having with Diane children and grandchildren and a happy life . It was perfectly possible . He was not sure that Rebecca had ever harbored that feeling for another human being, but what he does know was that in his heart, he had experienced that feeling. Then, he denied himself that reality, in a vain attempt to escape his fate, and became convinced that having a child with a friend, because she was only her friend Rebecca, could be a viable solution to make some sense of his mutilated existence.

At that point in his walk, he realized that he was completely frozen and decided to go into a bar to have a coffee. Still couldn´t return. But he could not take much more time. What was happening now in Rebecca 's mind ? He thought about her, wondering if she was aware of the error they are going to commit : bring into the world a child, for salvation table of life of their unfortunate parents.

No, not that ! ... Sam was horrified when that idea crossed his mind .  
At this moment of distress, the waiter brought a steaming cup of coffee and Sam closed his hands to the pottery to warm. For a fleeting moment, he thought that if, instead of coffee,he would drink two fingers of whiskey, would go into heat before, and,maybe, he feels better ... But what hell was I thinking? ! He didn´t want drink. One day I promised to Diane I wouldn´t drink ever ...Again she in his thought! He could feel her soft fingers holding his hands, away him from the bottle.

Soon, he was better physically. The coffee did its effect and tempered his body.

The coffee bar was quiet , he felt relaxation. Sam looked around and realized that at a nearby table was a man just like him, flipping through a newspaper. In another past, a group of girls in their twenties who told stories and laughed , but with discretion . A few years ago he would be interested in how were those young girls. Now, he felt that he was light years ahead of that curiosity. Time passed inexorably and his priorities in life was changing .

Suddenly, he again felt concern about how to tell what he felt to her, without hurting her feelings . After five years of working together and being friends, Rebecca really doesn´t know what Diane had meant to him. He didn´t want to tell her the whole truth.

He thought just tell her that she deserved to have a real family, with a man who was her husband and that loved her, and that he wasn´t meant to be that man... Yes, ...he would say that. So, she would feel valued by him as worthy of something better.

Sam paid for his coffee to the waiter and took courage to leave that place. In the same time that Sam was leaving , entered in the coffee shop, a couple, laughing in unison, his arm around her waist. And he felt a great envy to witness that scene.

It was only about five minutes walk to the hotel. Actually had not gone far, he only walked around the block. When he finally entered into the luxurious hotel reception, he felt the sharp contrast in temperature.

He went up to the room and found Rebecca sitting in a chair , fully clothed. Around her, chocolates´ wrappers that she had eaten. She asked him where he had been. Sam answered that he walked going around the streets. Yet, he didn´t dare to tell the truth, but apathy was etched on his face, as he said to her with a resigned tone : " Well, let's make that child."

Rebecca also was sitting on the bed and asked what was wrong . As not answer, she was more courageous and blurted out, " Sam , don´t love you , don´t want to have your baby, I think it would be a grave mistake." At this, Sam was relieved . He had made unforgivable mistakes in his life, but, fortunately, had reacted in time to avoid falling into this.

Said this, they parted amicably, and when Rebecca left, without any resentment, Sam was left alone in the room for a moment.

He thought that all was not lost, that, maybe, one day his dream would be true, that someone will continue his surname.

And returned to his mind the blond angel who lived in his soul..


End file.
